Louisa Hartono (Nonik)


There is certainly a glorification of marriage in this society. It’s a bit unrealistic – even utopian – to tell single women to not think about it, if they are pressured from all sides to get married soon. Even in churches, marriage is still preferred than single life and 1 Corinthian 7 seems to get no place.

Don’t get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with marriage itself. It is holy & God-given desire to get married. I myself still want to get married. The wrong lies within its glorification that puts marriage as an achievement above all a woman (and man too, actually) can accomplish in life.

People!!! Our self-worth is not determined by WHEN & WHO we are married to, not to mention the availability of women’s uterus to conceive a baby. We are worthy & valued because we are precious in His sight!

Copying my beloved, crazy cousin’s status Tessa Ayuningtyas Sugito:

“Well, I can totally relate to their situations. In big family gatherings, Christmas dinner, Weddings, Chinese new year, I am often asked whether I have a boyfriend or not.

If I say no, they will try to introduce me to some guys. If I say yes, the expected question will be when are you going to get married? Followed by tons of advices that women have biological clock, that we have expiration date, that it would be better to have kids before 30 and bla bla bla.
Even in my uber drive this afternoon, the driver even asked me those questions. Good Lord! Why don’t you get it that MARRIAGE doesn’t guarantee HAPPINESS?

You nosy society, in Indonesia, it’s freaking expensive to have a wedding, where 300-guests-wedding is considered small wedding. Raising kids and providing them great education are so PRICY that my parents spent shitload of money while I was studying in Indonesia, way more than my college years in Europe. Too bad in this country only GOD and MONEY that have the power.

And ultimately, I don’t settle for less, and you shouldn’t either! People, I want to shout at you that you are perfect and fully loved with/without a spouse.

Anyway, considering there are actually more men than women in China. I’m wondering how are the left-over men doing or they don’t use the term left-over for men.”



About Louisa Hartono

Nonik – cewek kelahiran Semarang dan besar di Purworejo. Setelah menamatkan studi masternya di Swiss, dia kembali ke Indonesia. Saat ini bekerja sebagai CSR Field Coordinator & Donor Liaison Officer di salah satu perusahaan ternama di Surabaya. Hobinya masih sama: jalan-jalan, membaca, dan belajar bahasa asing. Walaupun tulisannya banyak mengkritik Indonesia, tapi mimpi dan hatinya tetap bagi Indonesia. Suatu saat ingin bisa kerja di UNESCO sambil membawa nama Indonesia di kancah internasional, lalu pulang dan bikin perpustakaan dan learning center di Purworejo, kampung halamannya.

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14 Comments to "MARRIAGE"

  1. J C  27 April, 2016 at 08:41

    Wuiiittsss…top tenan!

  2. Lani  19 April, 2016 at 01:48

    Mas DJ: setuju!

  3. Dj. 813  18 April, 2016 at 16:14

    Nah ya, semua tergantung indifidu masing-masing .
    Setiap orang punya pilihan dan tidak peprlu memikirkan mengapa si A atau B atau C
    belum menikah . Itu uruusan dia sendiri, tidak perlu ada yang harus ikut campur.
    Anak Dj. si dewi umur 35 belum menikah, kamipun tidak pusing .
    Kalau dia lebih memikirkan kariernya, why not . . . ? ? ?

    Okay Nonik, terimakasih dan salam manis dari Mainz .

  4. Lani  17 April, 2016 at 14:20

    AL: kayak belum tau dirumah ini yg dibicarakan seumpama masalah makanan……….nanti bisa nggladrah kemana-mana yg sama sekali tdk ada hubungannya sama sekali dgn bakso………itulah keunikan Baltyra dan para kenthirs nya………….

    James: jd F-35 mmg ada, so pasti sgt canggih ya OZ aja udah punya

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